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Growing up my mom and I never got along. We fought almost everyday. Neither of us felt content unless the other one was miserable. I remember having so much hatred for my mom, I blamed her for all the trials in my life: divorcing my dad, having a one-bedroom apartment, working a full-time job, but most importantly her unmotherly nature. I only really hated my mom because I thought she hated me. She never onced hug me, kissed my cheek or uttered the words “I love you”. Whenever I would visit my friend’s house and see their relationship with their mother I would run to the bathroom and cry. I was filled with envy. I always felt as if a true “mother” was attainable, as if it was never meant for me to experience.
As the years passed, my mom and I learned to work out our differences. It wasn’t perfect but it was definitely better than before. The day I graduated high school was one of the most memorable times I have ever experienced with my mom. When I received my diploma and was reunited with my family I remembered the look on my mom’s face as I walked towards her. At this very moment is when my mom hugged me for the first time. Time felt infinite and we were both happy for once. The day I left college my mom did not come to help me move in, instead she gave me a quick hug and a written letter. I should have been excited on my move-in day but instead felt miserable the whole drive to my dream school. I unpacked and my siblings stayed for a bit and when they left I was completely alone. I laid in my bed to read the letter my mom had wrote me. Reading that letter made me finally realize that my mom has always been a true “mother”. I was blinded my whole life by my hatred. My mom never knew how to project her love towards my siblings and I because she herself did not know what love was. Her mother made her believe she was insignificant and worthless. When my mom got pregnant at 15, her mom kicked her out and made her figure it out herself. She moved in with my dad’s family was treated horribly there too, they constantly belittled her. Despite this she was able to graduate high school at age 16 and attend college part-time. My dad’s family grew to love her and taught her to do laundry and cook since her own mother could not teach her. Unfortunately my mom could not finish college, she left my dad due to his domestic abuse and his one-year affair with another woman. For a year we were homeless, moving from couch to couch to any family member that will take in my mom and her 4 children. Miraculously my mom was able to get a part-time job and get a one-bedroom apartment. My mom always struggled with money but never told us, she will make sure we will well fed, well-dressed, and made sure we enjoyed being children. Even though she would go to bed starving and only had one pair of good jeans she never complained, our happiness is what she valued above all. The end of that letter in black ink were the words “I love you”. My mom is my inspiration. The reason I am striving to be the best I could be is her for. My success would not have possible without my mom. My diploma is dedicated to her undeniable, unseen love for me.
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