HaU BLOG Posts
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For a long time I have always admired how determined I can be. I always mentioned this quality within application essays and interviews however since starting college, this quality has been tested time and time again. It was one thing to stay determined after one failure or rejection, but it was another to put all my time & effort into achieving a goal and still not seeing the results I wanted. Whether it was an internship, a scholarship, and class exams (mainly this one), it got harder to keep working hard towards these things. But perhaps what was even harder was deciding not to share this with my family. I didn’t want them to know how I was struggling in college. However once I swallowed my pride I finally opened up about the bad experiences I was facing, not just the good ones. It was amazing how well they reacted to it and the advice that they gave me. After that conversation last year, I did what I had to do to for school (such as giving up my summer and signing up for both Sessions A & C) and I haven’t stopped sending in applications for different programs I want to join. I advise for others going through similar problems to open about this and speak with others (such as friends and family) because its amazing how some conversations and rants can help you. Even though I still have more growing to do, I am proud of how I keep persevering despite the different circumstances I have faced. It was hard to admit that I had some failing moments and moments where I let imposter syndrome take over, but now my goal for the rest of my sophomore year is to put more work in so I can stay a determined individual.
How to be a Mixed Girl at UCLA
Step 1: Don’t Be Afraid I say this jokingly, but being mixed (specifically Puerto Rican and African American, like myself) is hard, and includes things that most people don’t want to talk about like cultural loss and being pushed to the edge of social groups. That’s something I can’t lie about. When I walk into a room, a class, a function, there is no one like me. I hear people talking about how they walk into classrooms and feel at peace knowing there is finally someone who looks like them, but that’s not something I can relate to. Instead, I look for people who resemble my family. I look for girls like my Black sisters, look for cousins like my boricuas back home, I look for people who resemble those who have already made me feel like I belong. I encourage anyone who is feeling at a loss here at UCLA to do the same.Don’t be afraid to talk to people, get to know them, and if you don’t know where to start, I know a group that meets on Mondays in Royce 362 that would love to meet you. Step 2: Don’t Be Afraid to Belong Somewhere Finding people that resemble me is just the first step to being comfortable with being mixed (or biracial/multiracial if that’s what you prefer) at UCLA. Take your time and get to know them, don’t be afraid to make new friends. Don’t let cultural differences hold you back. Embrace those differences and learn from them. When I first joined Hermanas, I was terrified. I couldn’t spot a single Boricua in our group. I was scared that my jokes would get lost and no one would understand, that my Puerto Rican slang wouldn’t be accepted, that my Boricua pride would turn to shame. But that never happened. Instead I got to know a group of fantastic women who understood that my culture was different, but accepted it all the same. Within four short weeks I went from feeling lost and alone at UCLA, to have a family waiting for me at the return of every break. I encourage you to not only embrace your culture, but to embrace those that surround you. UCLA can be incredibly diverse if you know where to look. Step 3: Don’t Be Afraid to Love Yourself These women, mis hermanas, have uplifted and inspired me within my year and a half at UCLA. They taught me how to love myself, my cultures, and everything that comes with them. With these ladies guiding me, I have learned to embrace who I am and to educate others on doing the same. I have learned to love who I am. Yes, being mixed at UCLA is hard sometimes, sometimes it is indeed lonely, but with my hermanas with me, UCLA feels like like the wilderness and more like family. I am able to blossom and become the best version of myself that I have ever been, and for that, I am incredibly grateful. Autumn A. Oyemade I realize that whenever I am feeling sad, defeated or unbalanced I always think of my familia, particularly my parents. I think of everything they’ve overcome and sacrificed in order for me to be here. This always helps me feel better and stronger because I know I’ve inherited not only their genes but their strength. I find my inner strength in things I enjoy doing, whether if it’s listening to music that pumps me up or listening to music that brings me inner peace. I find strength in jotting down my ideas in a journal, I free write about anything that comes to mind, whatever it is that I am feeling in the moment or an experience that helped me self-reflect. I feel a sense of power simply holding a pen or pencil because I know I have control over what I choose to write and express. Moments like these help me come into contact with my inner self. If I’m having a bad day I try to think of all the positive things that surround me, I always tell myself that feelings are temporary so if I’m feeling sad or upset those feelings will eventually go. I once read a quote that said, “for every minute you are angry, you lose 60 seconds of happiness”. And I always try to remind myself of that whenever I experience something unpleasant. In order to find your inner strength, you have to challenge yourself because that’s where growth occurs, whether if that means waking up thirty minutes earlier than usual to make yourself breakfast or stepping out of your comfort zone to try something you’ve always wanted to do. Whatever that might be- just go for it and do what makes you happy. Stop thinking about what others might think of you because that will only cause you to feel stressed or anxious. If wearing a bright red lipstick makes you feel bold and powerful then wear it! You will find inner strength when you’ve chosen to listen to yourself.
So do you boo. ♡ |
AuthorThe following posts will be from your fellow Hermanas. Archives
March 2023
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