HaU BLOG Posts
It’s still so hard to believe that this is my third year at UCLA. I’m a little over half way there – it feels surreal sometimes. To keep myself in check, I like to reflect on the reasons why I’m here and, this time, I’m going to share a little bit of that with you.
As is the case with many first-generation students, I’m here because I want a chance at a better future for me and my family; however, wanting is not enough. To get here, I had to put in work. A lotof work. And I had to realize a few things. Growing up, I attended low-income schools that didn’t really expect much out of their students (the sad truth about many, many institutions). Being first-generation, I hadn’t even understood the concept of going to college until high school. I got the grades and good test scores because it made teachers happy, and that meant less trouble for me. My schools didn’t have decent resources for students, but I was luckily introduced to a program outside of them that did. There, I learned more and more about ways I could continue into higher education; however, the most important thing they explained to me was something I knew, but never quite understood. I remember them separating me from most of my classmates and explaining to me what it meant to be undocumented. I am an AB 540 student. Although I knew I wasn’t a US Citizen, no one had really taken the time to explain what happened if I wasn’t. My immigration status has since been one of the most difficult things I’ve had to deal with leading up to college – and to this day. I remember being ashamed of this. It wasn’t something I was supposed to talk about, so whenever my friends would ask why I didn’t apply to a certain scholarship, I wouldn’t tell them that it was because one of their requirements was “Must be a US Citizen or Permanent Resident”. Instead, I’d say that I forgot the deadline or was too lazy. I was angry because I knew I met all other qualifications and I couldn’t understand why this one reason was enough to prevent me from doing what others were able to do with ease. All they had to do was be born in the “right” place; all I did was follow my parents across the border, as any other four-year-old would. Three years into college, and this anger renovated into something else: a purpose. Of course, it is not without the help of certain people, events, and laws (such as DACA) that I’m in a more comfortable place right now, but the thing that’s helped me most is self-acceptance of this condition. This thing that I was embarrassed about for so long is the thing that did not let me take opportunities for granted. Having limitations meant taking advantage of every single chance; having to work twice as hard to get to a goal taught me that nothing is impossible if it’s something I’m willing to work for. I learned that if my immigration status eventually did lead to me have to abandon my ambitions here, I will never lose the knowledge I already have; I will never look at something and think it’s not attainable, no matter where I am. I will always be thankful for those who helped me understand and then helped me move forward. My purpose is to do the same for others. It has taken me most of my life, but the thing that once stopped me from doing so much, is now giving me the strength to overcome other adversities. I hope it does the same for anybody else in this situation. If you can relate, know that it can get overwhelming. But, also remember that you have another hermana just like you, here in HaU, who believes in your abilities infinitely. Thank you for letting me share! **I've said being undocumented was a hindrance, but is now something I embrace. So, "Why is this anonymous?", you ask. Well, unfortunately, we still live in a place of hatred and stigma against immigrants - seen so prominent nowadays. It's different to say something aloud than it is to publish it. I can proudly say these things, but it is a different scenario online and that's a reality I still have to work on and deal with. Rest assured, as the year goes on, you will know who this belongs to!** Love, Your fellow Hermana
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